Mouthful of Koryn

As I write these words,

I am crying.

For years, maybe even my whole life

I have struggled with the thought of loving myself

With the thought of anyone ever even loving me.

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Until one day I woke up, and I told myself I didn’t want to do this anymore.

And by anymore,

I meant, holding on

To the grief, the anger,

The sadness I felt every time I caught a glance in a mirror

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I just wanted to be happy,

to love the life I had been given.

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It takes faith to believe you are worthy of a level of care that you have never received.

I didn’t,

I couldn’t,

But sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves turn on us and hurt us,

They become self destructive.

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There is this misconception that if you pour more love into someone eventually they will return that energy. In a normal healthy relationship this works. If someone doesn’t value you and they only see you as a resource, they aren’t going to all of a sudden see you for who you are.

I will never be the type of person who tells someone they’ll never find someone else like me, it’s a delusion. They can, and will, find someone that they like more than you, that fits in their life better than you.

And that’s okay.

I will not give into hatred no matter how tempting it may be. That’s not what my heart was created for, that’s not what I came here for.

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When you care too much about what others think of you, you will be enmeshed with them.

Let them think what they want.

You are still you.

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Don’t feel dumb for not seeing the signs sooner. If you look closely, you saw those red flags as soon as they appeared, but you still wanted to try and experience that person. Your guidance system works fine, you’re just stubborn.

Past disappointments can cause us to shrink our dreams and expectations.

As we heal, we begin to tell ourselves the truth about the full life we want to create.

The most profound healing that takes place is the one of being accountable rather than defensive.

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Develop the capacity to create moments of joy in your day so you don’t have to wait for someone to bring it to you.

You can’t abandon yourself and expect to feel happy or fulfilled. Self acceptance and embodiment are the keys to living a joyful life.

Become so firmly rooted in yourself and the knowing of your intentions that other people misunderstanding you no longer removes you from your center.

We can’t afford to see ourselves through the eyes of people who despise themselves.

The discomfort with making other people feel uncomfortable with who you are is an emotional block, it can keep you trapped in making other people happy, to the point that you actually disconnect with yourself.

When you first begin to clear the scapegoat, saying no will feel selfish. But eventually you will find a healthy balance of choosing yourself and being real.

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Don’t try to be successful for revenge, but for yourself.

You don’t need to stunt on those who “slept on you,”

If you’re seeking success for these reasons, you’ve already failed.

When you wake up and see the truth of who you are, you stop entertaining those whose eyes were closed.

Asking twice is too close to begging.

Manipulators will try to convince you to be grateful for crumbs, don’t be deceived.

Remember who you are.

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Disconnect from everything long enough to see if it feeds your soul or if it’s a distraction.

What’s deeply connected will always remain.

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The appearance of success doesn’t tell the whole story,

I hope when no one is watching,

You genuinely have peace.

Don’t let anyone save you for later.