Mouthful of Koryn

I used to have nightmares of you hurting me,

But you always told me they were just dreams.

And when you promised me that you never would,

I foolishly believed you.

______________________

I never got an apology for the growth I encouraged while I took nothing but damage.

I used to long for that apology from you.

How you completely ruined the way I view the world and the reason I no longer see the good in anyone anymore.

But I’d never accept that kind of apology from you.

You sucked the life and love out of me and left me with nothing,

You don’t care about the damage you perform.

Our “space to heal” is just a disguise for a lie you use to fuck someone else, and then come back to me

Like you did,

Everytime.

You made me jealous of other women, when you should’ve made other women jealous of me.

“Our relationship helped me grow”

But why did YOUR growth, come at MY expense?

You get to walk away with all of these things you learned,

While I have to walk away with all of these things I have to unlearn.

I am the one

Who has to get used to sleeping alone, and figure out how to pick up all of these pieces

You drained me, and then left because I wasn’t the same

If you can’t explain your actions, then I should’ve never had to explain my reactions

How can you expect peace from a woman you made so fucking miserable

You are a broken unhealed boy

So intensely afraid of his own fucking emotions

I will never be so vulnerable with someone so deeply uncomfortable with himself.

______________________

I used to have nightmares of you hurting me,

Turns out I was awake.